I’ve experienced death before. My cousin passed away. My aunt passed away. And I’ve had a couple friends pass away as well.

But boy does it hit different when it’s a parent.

My dad was my first hero. I don’t even have enough room on this entire website to explain how great of a man he was.

He came to America from Nigeria to continue his seminary education. The 20-something-year-old brought his wife (my mom) and kids over a year later after he had established himself making peanuts an hour. 🥜

He later spent his adult years raising four kids, teaching them to love the Lord and modeling that in the best way he could every day.

Was he perfect? Of course not. No one is. But how he lived his life allowed me to see how it is to trust God wholeheartedly—even when times get rough.

And yet, he was also the guy who would pause his day to fulfill his daughter’s Bob Ross dreams and drive 40 minutes to Michael’s to get paint supplies out of the blue (Prussian Blue to be exact).

By the way, those happy little x’s didn’t make a forest. They turned into a big blob of brown on the canvas that I already covered in Titanium White. Bob makes it look easy. It is not.

Back to my dad…

We were very far from rich, but that didn’t define us because we were happy.

Even as my dad fought different medical challenges, He trusted God. Every time.

“We thank God.”

“God is faithful.”

“God is in control.”

I could never have a conversation with him without hearing at least one of those phrases. And honestly, I wish I could hear him say it just one more time.

My dad went to be with the Lord last week. That’s how church folk say it, right? “He went to the sweet by and by.” Basically, he went to heaven and left the rest of us here.

I’ll spare you the details, but it was very unexpected and didn’t seem connected with any preexisting health conditions. ❣️

It’s a moment I’ll never forget.

Coming to the realization of what occurred, I felt numb. It felt like three days of emotions crammed into a few hours.

And for the first time, I understood the feeling of someone who couldn’t cry any more tears.

It’s a rough place to be. And honestly, I thought I’d be in bad shape for a while.

But God is gracious.

Through prayer and processing and the support of loved ones, I woke up from the worst Sunday of my life to an overwhelming sense of peace on Monday.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
– Philippians 4:6-7

Peace that transcends all understanding. Comfort. Supernatural comfort.

I felt (and still feel) cloaked in it; and although my dad is very much missed, I was able to have a greater peace from changing my perspective.

“We thank God.”

My dad is in heaven. With a perfect body that feels no aches and pains. It’s hard to get sad or mad about that. Just thinking of him doing squats or jumping makes me laugh.

“God is faithful.”

I don’t know why it happened the way it happened; but looking back over my life, God has been steadfast. He knows the end while I only know the now. I’ll trust the process because His record is impeccable.

“God is in control.”

I placed not one star in the sky. He is God, and I am not. He’s in control. His will be done. It doesn’t feel good all the time, and it doesn’t always make sense at the time. However, He’s got it. He always does. 🙌🏾

Do not get it twisted. I am not Iron Woman. I’m not saying that I will wake up with nothing but joy in my heart for the rest of my days.

I will still shed tears. I will still get the urge to pick up the phone and call my dad, only to be reminded that I can’t do that anymore.

However, prayer and the change in perspective keeps me going. It got me out of the “deep sunken place,” and I’ll take each day as it comes while cherishing all the memories.

Love you, dad! Save a seat for me. And if you can, drop a hint about when you think I’ll be coming to see you so I can plan accordingly.

This week’s video will dive further into the plethora of emotions that equal the grieving process. I’ll also share more details about the sequence of events that helped shift my perspective. TTFN!