Dear Diary,

The days have all ran together. I stopped counting after 10 sundowns. I pray this worldwide crisis ends soon. 

The little ones have started taking over the house. We try fruitlessly to gain control of the abode, but it’s all for naught. The little ones have strength in numbers, and they know it. They’re on to us. I fear we will not reign again for the next several months.

I’ve noticed that the big one—the one who has served as my ally before the little ones came along—has some habits that I never realized before. For example, he sniffles every 30 seconds. I have also noticed that his breathing and chewing have become quite noticeable.

What do you call it? Aaaah yes. Misophonia. As the days, possibly years at this point, go by, my hatred of sounds has increased. On last count, 78 types of sounds caused my body to cringe. More sounds get added to the list by the day…

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You guys still doing okay? How about you married people? Still doing good? Raise your hand if you’re shacking up. You and your boo still making it?

How are the side pieces doing? You logging in to Zoom to catch a glimpse of your boo every now and then? (Umm…raise your standards and get someone who doesn’t have to sneak around with you.)  

Anywho…

I’ve heard people say that there will be a lot of winter babies because of this international COVID-19 shutdown we’re experiencing. Other areas that will likely see a spike are breakups and divorces.

Some people went to work to get away from their families. Can you imagine how miserable they must be right now seeing the same faces—that they barely liked in the first place—day in and day out? Sheesh.

It can be stressful. There’s no “getaway” from the daily stresses of life. Every source that could drain you—from work to spouse to kids—is all located in the same place. Taking a walk around the block is now equivalent to a getaway to Hawaii.

Personally, I’m noticing that this “safer at home” period has highlighted what my husband and I have always struggled with. It’s called communication.

The crazy thing is that we knew it going into the marriage!

When we were in premarital class, we took a compatibility quiz during the last session. Mrs. Patsy, the facilitator, confronted us with the news.

“You guys match really high in all areas. Mid to high 90s all around. But you guys dipped to the mid 80s in communication. Do you have a problem with communication?”

I jumped in to say, “The problem is that he doesn’t listen and has selective memory.”

Brandon responded, “Oh really? Hope, I have to tell you something three times just for you to act like I never told you on the day of.”

“So, Mrs. Patsy, can you add lying to his list as well? Thank you.”

Through the years, we would intentionally work on communication techniques, but then we’d gradually revert back to our norm of being loud even if wrong.

Before the coronavirus, we sometimes got so busy with work that it masked the issue. When you’re two passing ships, what’s the issue?

But then Aunty RoRo came and slowed life down for us.

As I said before, this period has been a blessing.

On the flipside, it has also let me know that although we have improved, communication is something that needs to be continually worked out on both sides (his more than mine…). I kid, I kid…

We have dealt with being overly defensive. We have had miscommunication because someone was not fully listening. And my favorite thus far has been the need for someone to keep talking their way into a pit of wrong hoping to somehow be right in the end without ever admitting fault.

I really want to break down what I’m talking about, but it really is best if you hear the stories, not read it. 👂🏾

So on Friday Sunday, we’ll fill you in on the printer fiasco, the tales of not listening and more. You will hear bickering, but do not be alarmed. That is our love language. LOL.

See you Friday Sunday! And in the meantime, let me know which communication exercises have worked for you.

I don’t want any of that corny “look into your partner’s eyes and say…” stuff. All I want to know is how to communicate with someone who is equally as stubborn and hotheaded at times. Please and thank you. LOL!