There’s no greater pain than the pain of knowing that in 10 minutes, you’ve literally undid 10 years of progress on your natural hair journey. Well, maybe that’s a bit dramatic, but you can’t tell me that it’s not in the top five of painful situations.

I’ve been relaxed, texlaxed and natural–and I’ve had setbacks in each stage. It sucks. No if, ands or buts about it. It…sucks.

My latest setback was after my dad passed away. With the stress of the grief, funeral journey, aftermath, etc., my hair said enough was enough. My hair broke off all over the place and became six or seven inches shorter. Yes, HOPEsaidit can have hair setbacks too. Good ol’ setbacks.

“It’s just hair” was the last thing I wanted to hear. But it’s my hair!

The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord” – Job 1:21

After sulking a bit and beating myself up about it, I had to snap out of it and get back into healing mode. I needed to identify the root cause and find solutions. With these five reminders, I was able to get back on track, and I know it’ll help you too!

1. Pray
You can laugh all you want to, but my Bible says to take it to the Lord in prayer. Pray for guidance, knowledge and patience. Is this a moment that your hair will miraculously grow back overnight? Highly unlikely. But praying will allow you to ease your worry and know that everything will be okay. Everything happens for a reason, right?

2. Realize It’ll Grow Back
It’s painful, but this too shall pass. Your hair is growing. Just make the right choices to retain the growth that you get. Before taking any action, get in the correct mindset. Realize that this is just a hiccup, and it’s an opportunity for you to grow hair that is even thicker and longer than before.

3. Prioritize Health
We often focus on what’s being put in our hair, but what are you putting inside your body to help foster growth? Stay hydrated, eat clean(ish) and exercise. All of that hydration and blood flow is good for the hair.

I personally started drinking fenugreek (a.k.a. methi) tea every morning. Just buy some seeds like these from a local Indian/Pakistani food store, soak them in water for a few hours and drink up! It has a bitter, earthy taste, but you’ll get used to it. You can also buy Curly Hair Crisis’ ready-made fenugreek mixes. I tried both flavors, and they’re good with an extra oomph.

I’m doing a hair video this week to update about my progress. So far, I think it’s helped retain length, strengthen my strands/nails and improved my skin.

4. Stick to the Basics
If you’re anything like me, setbacks make your inner product junkie come out. No need to start running to buy all the gimmicky hair growth stuff. Stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re used to. And if you don’t know what it’s used to, research your hair porosity and moisture/protein needs.

Overall, make sure your hair stays moisturized (not greased up with fake shine), protect your ends and wear low-manipulation protective styles. It will help you retain length, and with your hair hidden away in a protective style, you won’t obsess over hair growth so much.

5. Stay Consistent
Just like when I work out, I want to be ripped after day one. That’s not realistic, And it’s not realistic for you to expect your hair to be back to itself after a few days–or even a few weeks. Hair grows on average about .5 inches every month. Stay the course, and stick to your routine. A watched pot never boils.

6. Enjoy the Journey
Celebrate your milestones. Even if your end goal is waist length, give yourself some love for the progress you’re making to get there. You’re chin length now? Good job! You grazed past shoulder length? Alright na, girl! You’re getting there. And remember, it’s health over length any day. Focus on having thicker and stronger strands. The rest will follow.

Like I said, this week is a hair update video, so I’ll go into detail about my progress and updated regimen on my YouTube channel. And this December, I’ll get my first silk press in about two years! Here’s to hoping everything’s on the up and up!