In a world in which fewer and fewer curse words are getting censored, there’s apparently one that makes modern women cringe more than any other—submission.

Oh, that’s not a curse word? People sure act like it. And they probably act like it is because the connotation of the word has morphed into something so… weak.

Let’s dig into the definition of the word, shall we?

According to the lovely people at Merriam-Webster, submission means the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person.

In terms of marriage, some people will read that definition and interpret it as a person (wife) who is powerless, brainless and naïve, submitting to the will of a brute force (husband).

That’s not what the definition states, though. Submission is basically yielding to the authority of another person.

“You got me messed up! Yield what to whom? I’m too grown, independent and strong.”

Do you tell that to your boss at work, too? When he or she asks you to do something, do you say you’re not about to yield to anyone?

Even if you’re an entrepreneur, you’re going to have to submit to the need of your client.

There are several other people that you are subject to submit to in your daily life—the president, governor, police officer, judge, business owner, etc.

So, you’ll submit (even begrudgingly) to an outsider who pays you, but you won’t give that same respect to the person you love and chose to marry? Make that make sense.

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. – Ephesians 5:22”

I think the thing that trips most women up about the word “submit” is that they interpret it as a relinquishing of power.

You’re not losing power. You’re giving structure to your power. 💪🏾

Since I already gave a work analogy, I’ll continue in that line of thought.

No high-functioning company has two chief executive officers (CEOs). The top executives are usually CEO and the chief operating officer (COO.)  The CEO gives vision for the company while the COO executes that vision.

The CEO may rely on the COO to watch for blind spots or give insight; and if they have a healthy working relationship, the CEO will analyze that feedback to make the best decision going forward. The COO is a very crucial part of an organization. It’s the right hand, the confidant.

Is one “better” than the other? No. But they serve their purpose and understand their roles. Collaboration is key, but like in any organization, one person has the final say.

In a marriage, the CEO is a husband. The COO is the wife. 👩🏾‍🦱

The details of the vision and execution are something that would need to be fleshed out before saying “I do,” but it’s not an oppressive relationship. If anything, it gives order and structure.

Can you imagine a lineman going into the huddle and calling the plays because he’s sick of the quarterback always doing it? What about a sous chef taking it upon himself or herself to add ingredients to the meal because he or she thinks the chef is annoying?

If you have issues being a COO, you’re either not cut out for the job or you’re working for the wrong CEO.

The word “submission” is getting a bad rap when your vetting process should really be the thing to blame.

If you have a great CEO, being a COO isn’t a burden—it’s a responsibility you take with pride. You have your good days and some bad days, but the mission is being carried forward and the company is all the more successful for it.

Proper submission is not weak (because please believe that HOPEsaidit is many things, but weak is not one of them). Submission is about respect and understanding roles.

I was going to say “simple as that” at the end of that last sentence, but I know the concept really isn’t that simple for many. That’s why I have my weekly videos.

We’re talking about family values, roles, and how all of that looks for my fellow strong women this weekend. In the meantime, feel free to leave a comment to share your opinion on the topic.