Once upon a time, there was a girl who thought that one day, she’d have four or six kids (because five is an uneven number… we can’t have that).

Then, she grew up and actually had one child.

Her original plans went straight out the window.

Man plans, God laughs.

I have three boys, and I’m throwing in the towel. I love my children. I would have another if I could, but my life literally cannot take another one.

Having kids is no joke. It’s a commitment, and there are a few factors to consider before deciding how many to have.

(Have as many kids as you want. You’re the one who’ll know when your family is complete. I’m just trying to help those who are on the fence. LOL!) 🤰🏾

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Money

Although money is not the factor, it certainly is a factor.

Unless you have crazy good insurance or government assistance, you’ll have to pay quite a bit for medical costs. Doctor visits, delivery, the hospital stay, pediatric care… it’ll all start eating into your overall budget.

I didn’t even talk about what the baby will need yet. Further swiping away at your budget will be diapers, wipes, baby food and all the furniture and accessories that you weren’t gifted at a baby shower. 👶🏾

(Hint: Don’t waste money on baby wipe warmers and those Keurig-style formula makers. You’ll thank me later.)

Then, when the kid grows up, they’ll eat more.

And because they’re so active, you’ll decide to put them in an extracurricular activity (which costs money). That sport requires a uniform and equipment (also requiring money).

And daycares are making a killing! You’ll be paying a mortgage until the baby is old enough to enroll into kindergarten. (And if you go the private school route, add in the equivalent of college tuition to your budget.)

Imagine how much that cost doubles and triples if you have children close in age. But don’t worry. Most places offer a siblings discount of a whopping 10% off for the second child.

Once you enroll your child in grade school, the hidden fees start to incur. You’ll be sucked into the cyclical world of buying snacks, pitching in money and food for random events, spending money on field trips, paying for classroom supplies, dodging book fairs, throwing away fundraiser magazines, and attending spirit nights at local restaurants.

A couple dollars here and there adds up!

Energy

If you’re balling and money is not a problem, give me some. Ha! J/K. (Or am I?) 🧐

Your lack of energy may have you wanting to tap out of having any more kids.

Gone are the days you can sleep in until your body is tired of lying down. Your new alarm clock will be whines, cries and shrieks throughout the night and into the early morning.

Off days from work will mean absolutely nothing. You may be off from work, but full-time parenting mode just went into overdrive.

That is, unless you have help. 💪🏾

And that’s really the main deciding factor about having more kids: How much help do you have?

It takes a village.

With no family or trusted friends nearby to watch your children, it gets hard out in these streets!

I know that I would be lost if I didn’t have my mom and dad watching my kids. (And we drive an hour to get to them.)

Big ups to the people who have a cul-de-sac filled with loved ones within walking or easy driving distance. That wasn’t my lot in life, but I bet it sure lightens the load.

Apart from physical energy, your mental energy can become drained too. 🔋

Your mind is constantly churning. When’s the doctor’s appointment again? Did I give my child lunch money? Was that permission slip due today?

You wake up with the kids on your mind, work a full day, and come back with more things circulating in your head about what to do next. 🤯

It’s exhausting.

Looks

Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who’s the vainest of them all? 💁🏾‍♀️

No judgment here, people! I get it.

Pregnancy gave you 50 more pounds, a wider nose, a saggier stomach and stretch marks.

If you’re fortunate enough to work it all off, another pregnancy kills all the progress you made.

There’s only so many times a girl can deal with that before calling it quits. 👎🏾

I should add “feels” to this header as well because pregnancy can feel like a drag. There can be months of sickness, nausea and tiredness. If it really gets bad, women are put on restrictive diets and bed rest.

Heck, some people don’t even risk the body blows and hire a surrogate (for non-medical reasons).

Society doesn’t help, either. Do you see #MomBod trending? Thought not.

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Having a baby is a blessing, but the nine-month process to get to it is less than desirable at times.

So, what would you add to this list? If you changed your mind about the number of children you wanted, what brought about that change? You already know I’ll talk about that and more in this week’s podcast. See you Friday!