In the world of modern dating, there’s a peculiar stage that many of us have experienced. It’s that gray area where you’re not quite friends, not quite in a relationship, but definitely more than just acquaintances.

It’s commonly referred to as the “talking” stage, and it can be both exciting and frustrating, leaving many wondering where they stand and what exactly is going on. 

Getting into Muddy Waters

First things first, what exactly is the talking stage? It’s that undefined period when you’ve met someone you’re interested in, and you start getting to know each other on a more intimate level.

You’re not officially dating, but there’s a clear romantic interest between the two of you. You might be going on dates, texting or calling each other frequently, and even engaging in some light flirting. It’s a time of exploration, where you’re testing the waters to see if there’s a potential for something more.

One of the defining features of the talking stage is the lack of clarity. Unlike the well-defined stages of traditional dating, such as being single, dating, or in a committed relationship, the talking stage can be ambiguous and open-ended. It’s not uncommon for people to spend weeks or even months in this phase, unsure of whether they’re actually progressing towards a relationship or if they’re stuck in a perpetual state of limbo.

This ambiguity can lead to a range of emotions. On one hand, the talking stage can be exhilarating. There’s the thrill of getting to know someone new, discovering shared interests and values and feeling the initial sparks of attraction. It’s a time of endless possibilities, and the anticipation of what might come next can be thrilling. 

On the other hand, the lack of clarity can also be frustrating and anxiety-inducing. Questions start swirling in your mind: Are we exclusive? Are they seeing other people? When can I introduce them to my friends? It’s easy to fall into a trap of overthinking and overanalyzing every interaction, searching for signs and signals that might offer some insight into where the relationship is headed.

Moreover, the talking stage often comes with a distinct set of unwritten rules and expectations. Should you still be exploring other options, or is exclusivity implied? How much communication is considered too much or too little? These unspoken guidelines can vary greatly from person to person, and if both parties aren’t on the same page, it can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. 

Navigating the Waters Successfully

To navigate the talking stage successfully, communication becomes key. It’s important to have open and honest conversations about your intentions, expectations and boundaries. While it may feel uncomfortable to have these discussions early on, they can help establish a solid foundation for the future. Remember, both parties should be actively participating in the conversation and expressing their needs and desires. 

Additionally, it’s essential to manage your own expectations during this phase. Understand that the talking stage is a time of exploration and discovery. It’s a chance to assess compatibility and determine if there’s potential for a deeper connection. Embrace the journey, rather than fixating on the destination. Enjoy getting to know the other person, but also remain mindful of your own emotional well-being and your timeline. 

Lastly, remember that the talking stage isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience. Everyone’s journey through this gray area is unique. Some relationships may progress quickly from talking to dating, while others might fizzle out without ever reaching a committed relationship. Trust your instincts (and by that I mean the Holy Spirit), be patient, and above all, be true to yourself.

My husband and I were in this odd talking stage for months. HA! So, this week, I’ll discuss how we got there, the bumps and bruises that happened while we were there, and how we navigated out of that phase. Hopefully it’ll put more context and understanding to those who are currently in that stage. Talk to you soon!