The dating game is getting bleaker, so when you find someone who may be remotely compatible, it’s the natural thought process to think about whether you’ve found your forever love.

While no relationship is perfect, there are certain signs that can help indicate that you’ve found “the one”. Here are three areas that helped me know that I was making the right choice by marrying my husband.

Attraction
Listen. At the end of the day, you still have to look at the person. Yes, that’s shallow, but it’s not the only way to know he or she is the one. Attraction catches attention. The other stuff I will mention retains and deepens that attention.

I know me, and if I got into an argument with someone I don’t think is appealing, I’d be spewing all kinds of insults during a fight. (I know. The Lord is still working on me.) Plus, think about how that person will look in the morning—or in 20 years. If it’s all going downhill anyways, I need to start from the highest point possible. And I still stand by my dating scale…

Let’s try to look the best possible throughout this relationship, shall we?

Safety and Security

This is a category that can encompass a lot. This is where I rate how secure a person makes me feel physically, emotionally mentally and—most importantly—spiritually.

If a bad guy came at us, would you run and leave me behind? Can I unapologetically be myself around you? Can I trust you? Do you have a personal relationship with God? Do we communicate on a serious level?

I’m not one to have a laundry list of standards, but I required that the man love God, be a man of integrity and make me laugh. Is that too hard to ask? And it’s not like I needed a preacher’s son or anything. Just show me that you’re progressively falling under the authority of God. If the man is the head of the household, I’m not being led to the wolves.

Also, when you and your partner have similar beliefs, morals and priorities, it creates a solid framework for a lasting partnership. You should have open and honest conversations about your future together, including topics like marriage, religion, children, finances, career aspirations, and your views on life in general. If you both align on these fundamental aspects of life, it adds to the security bucket and is a good sign that you’re on the same page and have a strong connection.

Accountability and Support

Along with safety and security, you need to be able to know that you can let your guard down around this person in all areas.

Beyond romantic feelings, I believe that a deep friendship is a vital component of a healthy and fulfilling relationship. When you and your partner can truly be yourselves around each other, share similar interests and hobbies, and enjoy spending time together even in mundane moments, it’s a sign of a strong friendship. 

You should be able to trust and confide in each other, share your dreams and fears, and be there to support each other through thick and thin.

In addition, being together should bring the best out of each other. A healthy relationship should make both partners grow and thrive as individuals. Your partner should encourage your personal growth, celebrate your achievements and help you navigate challenges. And you should do the same for your partner. Personally, I know that I wouldn’t have dreamed so big in aspects of career and business if it weren’t for my husband hyping me up and supporting me along the way. It’s like my own personal fan club. HA!

Obviously, knowing if someone is “the one” is a personal and subjective experience. However, by looking for someone who makes you feel at peace in the areas I mentioned, you can gain a better understanding of whether you’ve found your forever love.

A healthy and fulfilling relationship requires effort, commitment and continuous communication, so keep nurturing your love and growing together as a couple. Love is definitely a choice—make sure you’re making the right one.

Want to talk more about this topic from the male point of view? You’re in luck because Brandon (my husband) is discussing this with me more in-depth in this week’s video. Are you subscribed to my YouTube channel? You’ll be the first to get notified when a video loads. And how about my subscriber list? Get all my blog posts straight to your inbox right when they publish. Thank me later.