You didn’t think my Black History Month posts were over, did you? I’m finishing the month strong by continuing the conversation about the black experience.

See, Black History Month isn’t only about knowing about African-American achievements; it’s about loving the skin you’re in, even though society didn’t always allow you to do so.

That’s probably the part people don’t realize about celebrating black excellence. We don’t do it because we’re conceited. (Well, not all of us. If I come off that way, it’s just the Nigerian in me. LOL! ) For the most part, celebrating black heritage is so important because we have been seen as inferior for hundreds of years.

From slavery to Jim Crow laws to modern-day colorism, there have always been rules in place to keep a certain look and complexion feeling superior.

I remember the first time I realized I was different.

I always knew I was Nigerian. I knew I was black. I knew I had a darker skin tone, but it was made clear to me that other people could notice—and make assumptions about me because of it—when I was in elementary school.

My neighborhood was all black. I didn’t closely encounter other races until I went to school. (And it’s crazy that I didn’t realize this until I got older.)

One day, I was playing with my classmates. They were two white girls whom I often paired up with during activities. We started talking about the upcoming school musical.

Our school plays were usually just for the fifth- and sixth-graders, so the younger kids would often look up to those young thespians as if they were bound for Hollywood. We couldn’t wait until next year so that we could audition as well.

“Are you going to try out for the school plays, Hope?”

“Yeah. I’m going to try out for the Christmas and spring play.”

“I hope the music teacher does ‘Beauty and the Beast’ next.”

“Oh. That’s not my favorite, but I’d still audition for it.”

“Who would you be?”

“I’d try out for Belle. She’s pretty.”

“You can’t be Belle! She’s white.”

“Oh… Well, that doesn’t matter.”

And then the other classmate chimed in. 🗣

“Yes, it does. Belle is white. Plus, you don’t even have long, flowy hair.”

I was DEFLATED.

Not only did my skin not make the cut, my hair wasn’t long OR flowy. Goodness. She had to talk about my hair’s texture too?

I started seeing things through a new lens after that. I noticed features. I noticed ethnicity. I was more conscientious of how people differ.

I didn’t look like the people on television or any of the Disney princesses. I settled for Princess Jasmine, but I knew we weren’t the same. She just added an ethnic flare that was different from the rest.

Representation matters. ✊🏾

I couldn’t see anyone like me. There weren’t too many young black girls outside of television shows who were seen as beautiful and successful.

That is, until I turned on the television one day and saw Dominique Dawes. I was about 9 years old and saw her twirling about just as graceful as ever. I thought she was about my age because of her baby face and stature. Turns out, she was closer to 20. 🤷🏾‍♀️

A couple tumbles later, they put a gold medal around her neck. Black excellence. 🖤

The way my young mind processed it, I thought, “She’s black, pretty, and everyone loves her. That’s it! I’ll be a gymnast!”

Fast forward a bit. My flexibility equates to me being able to touch my toes, I have only mastered a cartwheel at best, and my back still hurts from playing with my kids too roughly. (Lift with your legs, girl!)

But you know what I learned?

People who look like me can do it too. I don’t have to be a gymnast. I can create my own lane and still excel—even if I look the way I do. 💪🏾

I can’t tell you how many times someone has made fun of me commented on my kinky hair, big eyes, large lips and button nose.

As an adolescent and teen, it used to get to me. Now I see people paying for some of these features.

Love the skin you’re in. And after struggling with other stereotypes and standards for so long, I’m happy to say that I do.

And for the record, if I tried out to be Belle, I’d kill it. Let’s just take those songs down a couple keys. Ain’t nothing wrong with Belle being a strong tenor! LOL!

This week, I’ll dive more into the black experience and the different nuances we have to maneuver that other people don’t even think twice about. Be sure to join in on the discussion on social media and see your feedback in Friday’s video. Bye! ✌🏾