Football is king in Texas. I’m starting to learn that some families will do whatever it takes to get their kid inside the royal court—even at the tender age of 5.

My oldest son Jayden started playing sports when he was 4. Since he was interested and full of energy, we enrolled him into soccer. He was one of the fastest and tallest children on the field. He did well. He had fun. And really, having fun was all that mattered to me.

Soccer season ended, so we signed him up for basketball. Let’s just say that he wasn’t ready for that. More like I wasn’t ready for that.

Kids were traveling, shots were barely being made, fouls weren’t being called… it was more like rugby. Plus, we played against the same team every week. How exciting.

Basketball ended, and then we signed him up for flag football. Like soccer, he was a natural. He was quick on his feet, pulling flags and dodging those who tried to pull his. When the season ended, I knew he’d soon ask to sign up again.

And he did.

After a t-ball season that was laughable at best because of lackluster coaches and pathetic rules, it was time for flag football again.

This time, we decided to turn up the competition dial a notch.

His new league had uniforms with names on the back, practices during the week (which I’ll talk about later) and an actual playoffs series.

It seemed a little extra for a team full of 4- and 5-year-olds, but we gave it a shot in the name of honing my son’s talent.

We joined the team a bit late, but Jayden didn’t miss a beat. In his first practice, his coaches noticed his speed and his ability to see the open holes as he’s running down the field.

Let’s talk about these practices, though.

They have these little kids practicing twice a week for 1.5 hours. So, after a long day of work, I have to get home and try and get my mind right to watch two young kids who are going to get very cranky because their bedtime is slowing passing them by.

Who practices little kids until 8 p.m.?

And game days are nothing short of extra.

Team moms are hyping the boys up and keeping them hydrated. The coaches are running passing plays that are likely never going to be used in game situations. Fans are yelling left and right. Cheerleaders are trying their best to stay in unison. 🤸‍♀️

We’re all here for a little league game, correct?

In his debut game, my son scored three touchdowns. Even though he came late to the season, people quickly learned his name.

We won. Everyone was happy.

The same happened the following week. 👍🏾

It’s funny how everybody is all cheery when things are going their way. Oh, but then there was week three…

Week three is when every one of the coaches and parents showed their true colors. The opposing team had more athletic kids then we did, and the victory kept slipping further and further away.

“I’m trying, guys! These referees won’t let me do nothing!”

Coach, don’t blame the ref for your team not playing great. You’re calling plays meant for the NFL. Just let them hand off the ball and run! And for the last time, your son is not clutch. I repeat, not clutch. 🙅🏾‍♀️

“These refs are killing me! They won’t even let us call a *blankity blank* sub! They’re about to piss me off.”

Ma’am, don’t curse around my young children. You’re lucky they have no clue what you just said. And your son is part of the problem. Tell him to pull a flag for once in his life. 🤦🏾‍♀️

That first loss was so telling. The air of defeat had already sunk in well before the game was over. And instead of encouraging the children at a critical time, the lead adults were angry and blamed other people for their shortcomings.

Mind you, the kids are 4 and 5. Even if we go all the way to the championship game, you can’t brag about that for too long.

“Yeah…when I was 5, my little league team won the championship game. Good times.“

That’s on the level of an oldhead who can’t stop retelling the tale of his game-winning catch back in high school. 🙄

After the loss, practice the following week focused solely on flag pulling. That’s an hour-and-a-half of flag pulling, people. Please send help.

Football is obviously a way of life in this league. Everyone doesn’t get a participation medal (which I wholeheartedly agree with), but it certainly isn’t about whether you had fun in the process either.

And these parents are already excited to put their sons in tackle football next year.

I don’t know. A 6-year-old in full pads getting tackled isn’t a comforting visual.

My son won’t be playing tackle football, if he’s even still interested in the sport, until he’s in middle or high school. I don’t need his body taking a beating prematurely.

This is football country, eh? Well, I’m dedicated to my kid, not the sport. That means that I will very well be screaming on the sidelines like crazy, but I’d do that in any setting. Chess, piano recitals, robotics club… all will hear my piercing voice in due time.

The playoffs are coming up in our flag football league, so we’ll see how my son’s team does. I don’t think the refs like us very much, so these calls are getting hypocritical and out of hand.

I sound like the parents I was just talking about, right? But I’m serious!

In the game I mentioned, we lost fair and square. The next ones were all because of refs who weren’t following the same rules for both teams. And after our most recent game, the ref was just laughing it up with the coach from the other team right after a series of horrible calls.

Like I said, the cut-throat business of football starts early in these streets! I’ll talk more about the coaches, parents and shady refs in this week’s podcast.