Almost every marriage counselor will say that the top two things that cause divorce are communication issues and financial woes.

It makes sense. When you can’t communicate well, the fights are either going to escalate quickly, or the silence from trying to avoid an argument will drift the couple further apart.

And although the vows say through richer or for poorer, not too many people want to sign up to be about that broke life as an adult.

In fact, when my husband and I did pre-marital counseling, the finance class was really the only one that opened our eyes. It taught us that we hadn’t delved into money that deeply. I mean… I knew he had a salary and good credit, so I wasn’t flying blind. It was the divvying up of funds that left us with blank stares.

What’s your budget? Who’s paying the bills? What about retirement? Will you guys have a joint or separate account?

I never even considered a joint account. I’ve had my own checking account since I was about 14 years old, so I wasn’t even thinking about putting my money anywhere else.

He was on the same wavelength. We concluded that we’d keep the accounts he had, give each other access if necessary and call it a day.

That actually works out very well for us. It makes paying for stuff much easier. We know what his account handles and what responsibilities I have to take care of through my account.

I didn’t think our practice was odd until I was talking to a friend who told me otherwise.

So, he doesn’t know what you spend? Do you ask him to buy everything? Wouldn’t that make it harder to communicate about money?

First of all, mind your business. LOL! Just kidding. But it made me start realizing that married couples don’t usually go the separate accounts route.

Then, I was scrolling through social media and saw someone share a Dave Ramsey article while commenting that a joint account is hard, but it’s the Christian way. I believe the term “Christian way” was not what Dave Ramsey actually said. It was just what the person who posted it inferred from his text.

Christian way? Really? I doubt the Lord will say He knows me not because of a lack of a joint account.

I’m not a heathen (or at least I try not to be). So, I listed out some pros and cons of each method so that people can see another point of view.

Before I list them out, let me start by saying that we have a system. My husband is all things bills, and I’m all things otherwise—including the savings. Although people will say that a joint account is first and foremost convenient because everything’s coming from one place, that’s actually worse for me.

I get paid on a different schedule than my husband, and we focus on our strengths to handle our monthly obligations, so that’s the lens I’m seeing things through.

SEPARATE ACCOUNTS

Pros

• Less confusion (for me) when dealing with money because there’s no “lump sum” and random pay schedules to deal with.
• Can surprise partner with a gift without the partner seeing the purchase.
• Provides accountability and trust to ensure the spouse does what is needed.
• Less liability from debt collectors, and your spouse’s low credit doesn’t necessarily affect you pertaining to the account.

Cons

• Minor expenses (like a quick trip to a fast food place) can add up without the partner’s knowledge if there’s no communication.
• Couple has to be in constant communication in order for every expense to be accounted for, which can be hard.
• It seems to not be the norm, so other couples could look at you as if you’re on the brink of divorce if they found out.
• Umm… joint accounts are closer to godliness? I don’t know. I can’t think of another one.

There’s no judgment here. Do what you think is best for your household. Either situation will work as long as there is clear communication about expenses and financial goals.

And for those who say that having individual accounts means that you don’t trust the other person, that’s not true. I am convinced that Brandon trusts me 1,000% because I have the ability to take all the coins in savings like a thief in the night. HA!

Again, it works for us. It’s not always the easiest, though. Maybe I can get Brandon to talk in this week’s podcast about how we came to the conclusion of being separate accounters… fingers crossed!