I’ve been had! Swindled! Bamboozled!

Well.. not really, but it sure did feel like it by the time the Kirby salesman left our house. 😕

I’ve never heard of Kirby before this incident. (And if you have, then why didn’t you warn me???!!!)

So here’s how it all went down.

The Doorbell

I heard our doorbell ring at about 7 p.m. “We aren’t expecting anyone, are we?”

My husband was taking a nap, so I decided to get up with my son in tow and see who it was. Standing near the narrow window by the door, I saw a tall and slender young guy who looked like he was about to let me know that my car lights were on or something. 😐

I opened the door.

“Hello, ma’am. My name is Harrison. (I changed his name to protect this poor thing’s identity.) We’re a new business and would like to get your opinion on our carpet cleaning product.”

Before I could respond, a flyer was shoved in my hand.

“We’re only in the area for tonight. It would be a free cleaning of any carpeted area in your home.”

Then, I thought about this hideous stain on my hardwood that wouldn’t come out no matter how much I ran the “Swiffer WetJet” over it. 🙄

“Well, can you do a free cleaning of hardwood?” Famous last words…

Mr. Slick Rick

Harrison left to get his equipment, and before I could blink, a shorter and stumpier guy, who I will refer to as Slick Rick, entered my home.

“Hi, ma’am. How are you? We know you’re not trying to buy anything today, but we need to show you a few demos to note that we did do our job today. My name is Slick Rick. And you are…?”

“Hope,” I said looking confused that he just freely walked in. 😕

As I walked Slick Rick to the area of hardwood that needed cleaning, I saw his eyes looking around. He veered from my guidance and asked about a carpeted room he saw on his left.

“My sister’s staying in there for the meantime, so don’t go in there.”

“Okay. Do you have any other carpeted areas?”

“I told Harrison that I wanted the hardwood cleaned.”

“Of course, of course. But we can do both for you today for free.” 😐

Don’t Wake Daddy

(Remember that board game as a kid? Anyways…)

I told him that he can clean the carpet in our bedroom also. Besides, there’s a pesky stain that the previous owner couldn’t even get out with a professional cleaner.

Then I remembered, “Oh dear goodness! Brandon is asleep, and he will not be happy to awake to two randoms in our home.” 😯

We walked in the room, but Brandon wasn’t there. I heard the faucet running in the bathroom, so I knew it was only a matter of time for Brandon to come out in confusion.

As Brandon walked back into the bedroom, he stopped mid-step.

“Uhhh… Hi! I’m Slick Rick. This is Harrison. We’re testing a product out with your wife and providing you with a free cleaning. What’s your name, sir?”

“Brandon,” my husband responded while giving me a look of uncertainty. 😕

Harrison then proceeded to assemble a clunky metal vacuum cleaner that had about 15 different accessories peeking out of its box.

Slick Rick chimed in, “Do you have a vacuum cleaner?”

I replied, “No, but I borrowed one from a friend.”

“May we see it, please?”

I dragged the Bissell to them, and they kind of snicker at it. (Oh you hatin’? 😉 )

The Demonstration

Slick Rick vacuumed over a large piece of carpet multiple times with our borrowed vacuum.

“Would you agree that I’ve vacuumed as much as I could with this machine you gave me?”

“Yes,” I said with the anticipation that my mind was about to be officially blown.

Harrison then vacuumed the same area with his bulky silver apparatus. The machine was conveniently equipped with white circular pads that showed how much dirt was being sucked up. 😮

Brandon and I started looking at each other with disgust as pads upon pads were being brought up with a collection of dust and lint on it.

“This is what’s in the carpet you thought was clean,” Harrison said.

The Numbers Game

Anybody would have been impressed with what this machine—finally introduced to me as the Kirby—was able to pick up. And that’s exactly what these two men were banking on.

Slick Rick gave us a flyer with the product’s price on it. “$3000??? 😯 Brandon, go ahead and literally kick this man out of our house.”

But being that I consume infomercials for breakfast every Saturday, I knew the trick. So, I waited for the “But wait!” line that every announcer says before they start slashing prices. (And in this case, I was going to need them to ninja slash that mess into bitty pieces with a Samurai sword.)

He started writing on the back of the flyer and showed us these weak discounts that we could give.

Unamused, we stood firm on this only being a demonstration. Besides, they didn’t even remove the stain that I originally asked about; but apparently, nothing gets rust out. 😡

Soon after, Slick Rick left the house and let Harrison finish cleaning.

The Waiting Game

And boy did he clean.

This boy took forever! I glanced at the time and it was 9 p.m. “Nu uh.. you guys are cutting into my son’s bottle and sleep time now.” ❗

White pads filled with dirt were blanketed all over our floor. He went on to clean our mattress, showed us the vacuum’s shampooing capabilities, and went through each of the accessories one-by-one (with a demo of each, of course).

Periodically, Harrison’s phone would ring, and he’d start discussing where he was in the cleaning process.

After one of the calls, Harrison asked, “How much would you pay for this machine?”

I replied, “I don’t know. $1000? $900 probably.”

My husband then chimes in, “Probably like $1500.” 😕 (Chiiiiillld… if you could have seen the look on my face. LOL! Why would you outbid your wife when the salesman is right there? But it’s all good… gotta love him.)

Harrison continued cleaning; and just like clock work, his phone rang again. (you’re not slick, Slick Rick!)

“Yeah.. I’m still cleaning. How much? It’s worth like $1500 to them. Yeah.. I know. Okay. I’ll finish up. K. Bye.”

More cleaning ensued. It was 10 p.m.

At this point, I wasn’t even paying attention to the demonstration. My eyes were sore and heavy. Even Jayden was starting to nod off, but then he’d shake himself out of it and look angry that he even entertained the thought of dozing off before he saw that these two strangers had left the house. (Protective just like daddy…) :p

Harrison’s phone rang a final time. I was starting to get acquainted with its ringtone. 😐

“Hello? Okay. Oh wow. Alright. I’ll let them know.”

Harrison turned to us after the conversation and said, “He said he can do it for $1500 if you take this demo machine. We only used it in one other house.”

Closing the Deal

I wasn’t even thinking rationally anymore. Me… so… tired.

It was a cool machine, I like to keep a clean house, and then they said the magic words: “finance same as cash” (meaning no interest rate if it’s paid off on time).

After consulting with Brandon, I heard myself mumble, “We’ll take it.” 🙄

Filling out the finance papers and everything was a blur. All I knew was a third guy came in my home, and I made sure the contract was written up according to what was discussed.

The trio walked out of my home into the dark night and rode away. And there I was… stuck with a vacuum and endless accessories that I didn’t even think I would be buying that morning.

Buyer’s Remorse

I didn’t feel easy about the decision. I’m Queen of Craigslist! I didn’t even look it up online or anything! 😡

You can call it whatever you want to, but I know that the Holy Spirit was working in me to let me know that I was not being a good steward of my money with that purchase.

I could barely sleep that night, and the first thing I said to Brandon in the morning was, “I’m taking it back.”

“Cool with me,” he said. (He’s way too trusting of the decisions I make financially. LOL!) 😀

I watch a lot of judge shows, so I knew I had a three-day period to return the product with no penalties.

I filled out the appropriate documents, made copies, and mailed it via certified mail to the address listed in the contract. A few days later, Slick Rick came by, tried unsuccessfully to convince us that we were making a bad decision, took all of his products, and that was that. 🙂

Hindsight is 20/20

As I read about Kirby salesman tactics online, I realized that every one of their actions were calculated.

Putting the flyer in my hand to not make me shut the door, scouting a room that has carpet, marking down a ridiculously high price to make you think you got a good deal, staying forever, calling on the phone repeatedly—it was all done before to other unsuspecting victims.

I’m over it now because it didn’t put me out of a lot of money like it did to others. And like everything else in life, it taught me a very important lesson: God allows things to happen to me so that I have more material to blog about. 😛 HAHA. No, but seriously:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
– Philippians 4:6

You see what it says? EVERY situation. No matter how big or how small the choice, double-check with God that it’s what you’re supposed to do. You never know what the consequences (good or bad) of your decisions may be. 💡

Fortunately, I was able to reverse what I recklessly did; but now I’m on it because I know next time, I might not be able to do that.

And now you’re probably thinking, “My goodness… she took a Kirby sale as a life lesson?” Sure did! Because there’s lesson in everything. Just make sure you’re actually learning from whatever lesson that gets presented to you. 😎