There’s a prejudice going on in the world, people!
I’m not talking about anything based on race, age, religion, or education—this one is against single moms. 😯
Yes, single moms get way less love than single dads.
Some eyebrows went up, so let me plead my case. Your honor, may I approach the bench?
EXHIBIT A – I walk into the grocery store lugging my son in his car seat. I have several bags adorning my arm. I’m obviously struggling. What do people do? They look at me. Some even judge me.
Mind you, I’m not wanting help or an award. But I don’t want the ugly stares. 😡
Stares that say, “Ugggh… she must be a single mom,” “My tax dollars probably paid for that car seat she’s lugging,” and NO LIE:
“Just another teen single mom. It’s sad really.”
Wait. What? I’m not a teen, and I’m not single. Where do people come up with this? And how is it their job to judge me if I were? 😕
It’s a harsh world out there people… unless you’re a single dad, that is. Your honor, I ask the jury to turn their attention to:
EXHIBIT B – My husband and I take a trip to a department store. As my husband is getting our son out of the car seat, I realize that some items in the baby bag spilled out. So, I tell him to take the baby and go inside without me.
As I trailed them from an “it doesn’t look like we came together” distance, I saw the eyes of the female patrons light up. 🙄
“Awwww!” said a lady, as she continued to stare at the two of them walking in. And her friend responded with:
“We need more good black men and fathers like him.”
How in the world did he get an honorary purple heart just by carrying our son into the store? It was literally only 20 steps away. 😐
None of that matters because the general assumption of the people I have encountered is:
- (When I have our son while running errands) I’m a single mom who “deserved it.” I probably nagged my partner to death and he couldn’t take it, so he left me. And if it so happened to not be my fault, and he was really good-for-nothing, why was I with him anyways? “Stop sleeping around, teen bum!”
But…
- (When my husband has our son while running errands) Well bless his heart! That poor man was abandoned to do things on his own. Poor thing’s wife or girlfriend was probably a drug addict who ditched them to chase a $20 stash. Good thing he stepped up to the plate. We need more real men like him! “Did you need me to fix you a peach cobbler, hun?”
Talk about a double standard! And there are more instances than the ones I named. 😮
But even if I were a single mother, think about how hard it must be to hold everything down on your own while the world constantly berating you with stereotypes. Geeesh!
Case closed. 😉
May 29, 2014
*slow claps* Well said! The double standard is absurd. In you example, you were clearly caring for your son with extra bags, so you should have been treated the same. Brandon didn’t even have a bag and he got EXTRA love! Haha! Wow…so strange.
But no matter how people feel, at least they should show the BABY some love. 😉
May 29, 2014
HAHA! Exactly. Doing less, but getting more love. Where dey do dat at? LOL!
May 29, 2014
Your honor, I….. Mr. Reed will represent the defense. The prosecution is 100% WRONG! Single dad’s gets a little love, but single moms gets the lion’s share. That’s why they call it W.I.C. and not M.I.C. And let’s not forget how bias the law is when it comes to custody and child support. The ONLY way a man can get any kind of custody is if he’s paid, or the mother is actually on drugs.
Exhibit A: Tyler Perry’s Daddy’s Little Girls.
Which brings me to the media. All and any success story and/or documentary in the media, always have the raised by a single mother.
Exhibit B: Currently Kevin Durant’s MVP speech.
It’s even in our music.
Exhibit C: “Dear Mama” , “A song for mama”, “I love my mama”…….. and the only song that daddy get is “Papa was a rolling stone”!!!
I rest my case.
May 29, 2014
HAHAHAHAHHAHA! I love it, Mr. Reed.
Your honor, let me make it clear that I wasn’t talking about the government or the media. We can all agree that Mother’s Day is taken a bit more seriously than Father’s Day.
I’m talking about in everyday interactions.
Walk down the street carrying your child. And have your child’s mother do the same. And I ASSURE you someone will stop you to talk to you and say how you seem like a great father. Your baby’s mother, on the other hand, may just get dirty looks because she must be just another “ghetto single mother”.
I re-rest my case. LOL!
May 29, 2014
Don’t be selfish Hope, let daddy get his little attention. You still get the lion’s share. Haha….
May 30, 2014
HAHA! He can have his little attention. But I’ll still blog about it 😉
July 27, 2014
I get what you’re saying and that’s true. Interestingly those same idiots don’t realize that even if you were a single mother your husband could have died in the line of duty, or driving to work, or perhaps you are by yourself because he is out of town on business. Assumptions are really stupid and people should learn to stop making them. A woman alone with a baby doesn’t not make her a single mom. It doesn’t necessarily make her a mom either. I was watching my sister’s baby while my mother was in the dental chair and my sister was at school (college) and the stupid lady behind the desk assumed the baby was mine. I was 12 years old at the time. I realize that’s about the going age for kids getting pregnant nowadays, but that wasn’t the case in my time.
July 27, 2014
::slow clap:: YES! You feel my pain. People assume the craziest stuff these days. Thanks so much for chiming in!