I blame the lack of media really. I didn’t watch television all weekend, so there were no reminders to let me know that it was Father’s Day. (It may sound like a weak excuse, but I’m sticking to it. ?)
It wasn’t until our late selves went to church that I was made aware of it. A door greeter said, “Happy Father’s Day!” You should have seen my face. ?
“Oh dear…umm…Happy Father’s Day, babe!”
“Mmmm hmmm…When you didn’t say anything at the house, I was like, ‘This girl forgot about Father’s Day!'”
I couldn’t go out like that, so I had to throw our newborn under the bus. (Sorry, kid.) ?
“But but…if our son slept more at night, maybe I would have had the brain power to remember. My energy is drained and…and…it’s been a stressful week,” I tried to explain…pitifully.
“It’s okay, babe. I already know that you and the boys appreciate me. I don’t need a special day for that,” he replied with the patience of Job.
He’s right. I am very appreciative of him 24/7, but that doesn’t make the fact that I forgot any better. But that made me think about the bigger narrative around Father’s Day. ?
It’s like the stepchild of holidays, no?
For Mother’s Day, mothers get the red carpet rolled out for them. ?
“Here you go, mommy! We each made something special for you.”
“We’re taking you out to dinner after church, mother.”
“I love you sooooo much, mom.”
And then at church, the ladies get a small gift, and the sermon is about the female trailblazers of the Bible. “Without their faith and fervor for God, a lot of important things would not have happened.” ?
No one talks about the mothers who don’t take care of their kids. Nope! The understanding is that all moms are saints, those who aren’t doing a great job probably have others to blame, and whoa is ye who thinks differently. ?
And then there’s Father’s Day. ?
“Hey dad. We all chipped in to get you this tie.”
“Dad, can you grill when we come back from church?”
“For he’s a jolly good fellow!”
At church, the dads still get honored. But sometimes, there’s the underlying sentiment that good fathers are just doing their job, and the bigger focus is on the deadbeats who aren’t doing anything. This hasn’t happened in every church I visited, but I’ve lived in quite a few cities, and that has been my experience. Not cool. ?
Let’s just make sure we all celebrate the good fathers in our lives. I can’t talk too much because I forgot, BUT remember what my husband said…I show thanks to him every day. #Bam ?
To change the Father’s Day narrative to highlight the deadbeat dads is to focus on your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend on Valentine’s Day. Who does that? ?
Anyways, Happy Father’s Day to the real ones! ? You’re appreciated, you’re loved, and we honor you on today. (Did I mention that I can’t stand when someone says “on” before today or yesterday or tomorrow? That’s not a thing.)