I Think I Gave Birth to My Road Dawg

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Last time you’ve heard from me, Jayden may have been saying a few words. Now, he’s like a parrot.

“Oh my gosh!” “Oh no!” “Golly!” “Who did this?”

Hearing him talk makes me want to be more careful about what comes out of my mouth. And he’ll be quick to point out when I’m saying “ummm” too much.

Right now, he can say his ABCs, count to 10, and name his body parts. We’re working on colors next.  #MommyLearningCenter

No New Friends MemeAs much fun as it is to see him learn something new every day, I love that fact that he’s become my little buddy. Not that petty “you’re mommy’s little friend” mess. I’m talking about my little “ride or die, snitches get stitches” buddy.

For example…

Brandon cannot stand to see my bobby pins laying around. However, if you know anything about my hair, you know that I will have bobby pins hibernate for the entire winter inside of my hair and not even notice. I own a lot of bobby pins, and they’re prone to show up anywhere in the house.

For about two months straight, Brandon would pick up a bobby pin from the floor or a random countertop and say, “Babe, can you please put this up?”

I would  be good for a day or two, but then it would happen again.

“Babe, really? Could you be more careful about where you put these?”

I promise you I tried, but they just. kept. showing. up.

Brandon would pick them up left and right. One of those times, Jayden was next to him. Brandon picked up the bobby pin, turned to me and said, “Hope, this is a choking hazard. I don’t want Jay to put these in his mouth.”

How dare you! (Side note: I don’t say it like an angry person. I say it like an appalled rich Englishman who just got told his expensive knickers were rubbish… “Howww dey-uh youuu!”)

So anyways, Brandon was fed up with my bobby pins. And Jayden definitely noticed.

Fast forward to a few days later. I was getting ready in the mirror because I had to go to a meeting. Jayden was being his usual playful self, but then I heard something.

::inaudible whisper::

My nose was about five inches away from the mirror, so my confused self turned around to see what was going on.

(in a whisper) “Mommy.”

“Huh? Oh hey baby! Why are we whispering?”

(still whispering) “Mommy peeee”

“Oh gosh, Jay. You gotta use the potty?”

(viciously shakes his head no)

“Then what’s up, Jay Jay?” ::shrugs and continues getting ready::

A few minutes later, I feel a gentle tug on my blouse followed by a whispered, “Mommy peeee.”

I turn around thinking I need to take Jayden to the bathroom, but then I see him hesitantly holding up something. Upon closer inspection, I see that it was one of my bobby pins.

“Mommy. Mommy peee,” he whispered again. He then handed me the pin making sure his daddy wasn’t around. (Brandon had been walking in and out of the room for various reasons this whole time, so I realized that Jayden was trying to tell me in a low voice when his dad was gone.)

“Ooooooh!” I whispered back to him. “You’re giving mommy her pin?”

He nodded his head with a smile.

I took the bobby pin from him, knelt down, gave him a fist bump, and whispered back, “Thanks, my baby!”

Jayden giggled and walked away.

As I continued getting ready, I could do nothing but laugh to myself. This little two-year-old was trying to make sure that mommy didn’t get in any more “trouble.”

That very moment, he was upgraded from son to road dawg, and he’s held that title ever since.

I could tell you so many stories about how he acts like my personal body guard  , not going to sleep until strangers are out the house and shutting people down at the store if he knows I’m not feeling them.

That’s my boy!

Of course, when Brandon found out about it, he laughed and called Jayden a traitor. There’s always that one hater…

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