90 Day Fiancé: Rules of Online Dating

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My days are getting busier, so I can’t watch television like I want to. Oh but when I do, I make sure to tune in to my latest obsession—90 Day Fiancé.

I told you about why I like it, so why aren’t you watching it? LOL!

Other than the culture clashes, drama and sheer stupidity of some of the cast members, there actually are some decent life lessons woven in there. 🤔

First and foremost, it proves that the dating game is rough. So much so that people have to expand their search overseas.

Some of these people don’t even share the same language. They’re literally talking to each other from a translation app. I’d imagine that communicating via a Siri-like voice would totally kill the effect during an argument, but love breaks all barriers I suppose.

I’m not hating if you find a partner in another country through an online dating website, which is the case for most of the couples, but please be smart about it.

Common sense isn’t common. In fact, the more I’m on this earth, I’m convinced that the Lord only gave it out in limited quantity. That’s why I’m here to help!

So I reveal to you HOPEsaidit’s rules to online dating (inspired by the show, of course).


1. Make sure you’re talking to the correct person.

Before you go spending your life savings on a person you met last month, make sure he or she is the person you think he or she is. In other words, don’t get catfished.

The easiest thing would be to video call the person multiple times during different times of the day. If he or she claims to have poor internet connection or low funds, there’s a way around that.

Ask for pictures without filters. Ask for pictures doing the most random things. Ask for videos in which the person has to say a specific message to you.

“Hey! Send me a picture of you in a black shirt holding a piece of paper with the words ‘John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt for President’ on it with your tongue out.”

The premise here is to make it impossible for the person to Google an image of a stock photo model or ask a more attractive friend to do it for them. That’s why you need to give a time limit. And do it at odd hours of the day.

Don’t settle for a video of someone saying, “I love you, honey.” Tell them to say your specific name or make up a random pet name.

“I love you, my frozen yogurt teddy bear biscuit with gravy.”


2. Make sure you have the same life goals.

I promise you some people’s goal in life is to marry and die. Well, news flash: Life doesn’t end after the wedding. That’s actually when a more complicated chapter begins.

Some 90 Day Fiancé couples are head over heels for each other but not on the same page. Make sure you agree on religion, finances, children, place of residence, etc. before spending a dime.

I cannot fathom how two people can get married and then have the nerve to argue about where to ultimately live and how to raise their child. I’m sorry… what were you guys talking about during the courtship? Up there cakin’ on the phone without asking the tough questions.

It’s easier to break off an engagement than file for divorce, so get all of that sorted out before walking down the aisle (or before sponsoring an immigrant or moving yourself to a new country).


3. Make sure you match on the ratings scale.

I touched on this briefly when I talked about the struggle of Christian dating, but hear me out.

There’s a science to dating, and it lies on a scale from 1 to 10.

In my opinion, you can date two notches above or two notches below your rating. That means if you look in the mirror and see a 7, you’ll likely end up dating someone who is as low as a 5 or up to a 9 in your eyes. 👌🏾

“That is so wrong and vain. It’s not about looks, Hope. Gaaaah!”

Calm down. Calm down. The scale doesn’t only calculate looks. People get extra points based on personality, style, finances, etc. 💅🏾

A guy can be a 3, but have money and become a 9. That’s how he can nab a girl who’s in that elevated range. Women don’t have to be dimes. They can have a ridiculously cool personality to make up for being a nickel.

The best part about the scale is that it’s totally subjective and completely determined by the eye of the beholder. But make no mistakes about it. If a couple looks unequally yoked, someone’s getting extra points somewhere. LOL!

When people don’t pay attention to this scale, that’s when the scams happen—at least on the show.


4. Make sure it’s not too good to be true.

I’m not talking about self-sabotaging a relationship, but no one is perfect. Know the person’s true colors before leaping head first into the relationship.

If it feels like the person is trying to put on a façade, investigate that. Ask about pet peeves, areas of improvement, any life regrets, etc.

If you can, talk to relatives and close friends. Unless you get major red flag vibes, I’d stay clear from interrogating exes because they could be trying to get the person back or something. No need for haters. 🙅🏾‍♀️


See? Not only is 90 Day Fiancé entertaining; it’s educating. And I can’t wait to update you on the foolery that happened so far this season.

All I know is almost every couple so far has had a person say, “There’s something I haven’t told you yet…” And one of them is going to throw you for a cultural loop… aaaaah! See you Friday!

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